Icing on the cake!!!!!!!!!

Guess what?! I went for my last chemo treatment this past monday and as we met with my oncologist, he said I didn't need to have the shot the following day! That is amazing because I was anticipating a few days in the bed with intense bone pain as last time. But now, I won't have that.

Now, last night, though, it did hit me. My legs hurt so bad, esp. my knee caps again. weird huh. James suggested I take benadryl to knock me out so I would be able to sleep and not feel the pain. So I slept good and am still sore some this morning. But at least this time I know it won't last very long! I am also having pain under my right arm where they took out 12 lymph nodes. It doesn't keep me up at night but I need to do my exercises. I hope to play tennis again one day.

My next step is meeting with the doctor again in four weeks to discuss the next phase. He said it is just as important but a lot easier on me. I will need to take a pill everyday called Tamoxifen, for probably 5 years. This is an estrogen blocker. I know it will give me hot flashes, but I already have those! Which is kinda funny, because I have always been so cold. Now I'm cold/hot/cold/hot! ha!

I have been trying to gather my thoughts together to list what I have learned from this experience. I'm still working on it and will post it on a later post.

I am so grateful for all of you who follow this blog and what I post on facebook. The support my family has gotten during this time has really held us up. We have been through so much in such a short time, but we have the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember four months ago, crying to James saying, "I don't know how I'm going to do four more months of this!" And now I'm on this end. It feels good. I won' t lie to you though. I still have my moments of uncertainty. What I mean is, I think about re-occurrence and it can be paralyzing. I have to stop thinking about it and claim His healing. I am not to fear. I am to trust.

Or I'll get down about the fact that I feel like I'll be under the radar for the next 5, well, really 10 years, checking me all the time. But I guess that is good. They will check me every 3 months to begin with, then 6 months, and then eventually every year.

I am grateful that they are aggressive in checking me so much. I don't want to approach every appointment with anxiety though.

So I will keep you posted. I go back to the doctor on Sept. 27th.

My cousins have a place in the mountains and they have graciously given me and James a few days there together next week! So my parents are going to be with the kids. I hope it will be a relaxing time for all of us. Thank you so much Kelly, Brian, Laura, and Greg for this treat in the mountains! I love ya'll.

And much thanks to my parents and Alyssa and John and my friend Christine, who have so selflessly watched our kids. We couldn't have walked this journey without ya'll and it has definitely been a joint effort.

Holli

GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GREAT NEWS!!!! wanted to share with ya'll what happened at my last doctor's appointment! Each week they draw my blood to check my white/red blood cell counts, hemoglobin, and many other things. My numbers have been consistently low each week. They told me in the beginning that if one particular number was too low than I would not be able to get the chemo that week and would have to wait another week. I never wanted that to happen but it's really out of my control. I wanted to get this chemo over with.

However, this time it happened. He said I couldn't receive the chemo. I was so discouraged I started to cry. I've just been so counting on ending this Sept 27th and looking forward to each monday to get it done!

However he said I have two options: 1) skip today and start again next week or

2) get a huge dose of taxol today one that would cover my August ones
and then come back in two weeks, August 30th for my LAST CHEMO!!!! (this one would cover the Sept. treatments.) The catch is, the day after I have to go back to W-S for that yucky shot to instantly build up my bone marrow.

So I had to make a decision. I knew that I didn't want to wait but he told me the shot costs thousands of dollars. I had immediately said no to the shot, that it was too expensive. My sister went with me and encouraged me to call James and see what he thought.

In my last post I mentioned that our insurance company had dropped us because we weren't heading back overseas anymore. So it was a challenge to find insurance that would accept me. We got insurance for the rest of the family but again this new insurance rejected me due to the cancer. So with many prayers and James' long hours working on this, he found a plan that would give me insurance. It will start Sept 1st but we do no think that it will cover the pre-existing conditions of cancer. But at least I have health insurance!

One of the nurses mentioned to me about a fund called Charity Care through the hospital that we could apply for to help us cover these costs. We applied and they have agreed to cover 50% of the cost of our bills for three months! What a huge answer to prayer!

Anyway, I am so glad Alyssa encouraged me to call James at that moment. I called and he told me not to worry about the money but to ask the doctor what he thinks I should do. My doctor said he preferred that I stay on schedule with the chemo and have it that day.
So I did!

James told me I am def. home bound now, because of my immune system and have to be really careful. I am so thankful to God and I know how much He loves me. He is really doing this for us!

I did struggle some at the hospital. I guess I have felt so positive for so long that I then struggled with some fear or dread that this might not end so quickly. James and Alyssa both thought that maybe those thoughts came because I was so surrounded by it there in the waiting room. So I just have to again thank God for doing this for me and claim His healing forever and believe that it won't come back.

I mentioned before that it takes a few days for the shot to kick in and when it does it knocks you off your feet! I started to feel bad around wednesday and then the bone pain in my legs increased significantly thursday and friday. It makes your bones ache so badly. It really made my legs ache and feel as if my bones, especially my kneecaps, were broken. I stayed in bed til sat. and didn't really feel good til monday. But that was LAST week and this week God has made me feel so good, I've been able to exercise.

Ashley woke up tuesday morning with fever. So with my immune system being so vulnerable I was off to spend a few days with my parents in their house til she was not contagious. I hated not being able to hold her and I missed the boys' first few days of school but Ashley hasn't had fever since yesterday and I am going back home today. Can't wait to squeeze my family! I have had a very relaxing and fun time with my parents, swimming, fishing, watching movies.......They are amazing and I am so grateful for them.

My hair is already starting to grow back! Peach fuzz all over but def. new hair!
yay!!!! I have 11 hairs on my right eyebrow and about 15 left on the left! I bet I'm the only one that can actually count her eyebrowhairs!!!!! :) so I did! :) ha!

I cannot close this post without mentioning some of the best news ever and best answer to prayers!!!!!!!!!! James got a job, and just the job he wanted! He will be the Hospitalist at Carolinas Medical Center in Charlotte. He had an extensive application to send in, and two in-person interviews and they called and told him they will be sending him a contract!

We are so thrilled and grateful for all who prayed for him and those who sent in referrals as well.

My son Wes had just the right attitude and one that I think pleases the Lord and that He blessed. As we were praying for this job as James was in the interview, Wes said something like, "Well if Daddy didn't get the job, and God didn't want him to get it, then God will provide something else for Him." Wes wasn't worried. I can learn from his faith.

We have seen so many answers to prayers. God has richly blessed us and walked every step of the way and gone ahead of us. I am still amazed we found this when we did and that God didn't allow it to spread any further throughout my body. His is SO, SO, SO good to us.

The other day I was going into a store with Wes and a lady was walking behind us with her son. As we approached the door I stopped to try and pull a few hairs down from my bandana on the sides and tuck the back of my bandana in, in the back to cover the back of my head. Just a little self-conscious! :) This lady said to me, "I think you are beautiful," and kept on walking! I thanked her but was so very touched by that! She didn't have to say that, she was even on the phone with someone but paused and leaned over to me to tell me that. It meant so much to me when sometimes it is still hard to be almost bald. It made me want to find the next lady in chemo out there and tell her the same thing!

It is amazing the unconditional love of people. My kids are a perfect example. At home I sometimes don't wear a bandana and just walk around without it. Chad said to me the other day that he couldn't even hardly remember me with my long hair, he's so used to it being this way. And then he said, "you know, if you wanted to keep your head that way, it'd be just fine"! James said, "yea, you could pull it off!" WOW. I thought, "no way buddy, I can't wait for a full head of hair!" :) ha!

Every night my kids pray for me. Chad prays I won't lose any more hair and Wes prays that no one will notice that they are wigs, and they both pray that I am healed completely of this cancer! They are precious!

Even my niece, SaraLane, when coming to my house one day, told my sister, "I can't wait to get there and play with Aunt Holli's hair!" Wow, she forgot!

Well, I better close until next time. I'll keep you posted about next week and how the chemo is affecting me. But it's my LAST ONE EVER!!!!!!!!

Thank you so much for praying for me. This week at my parents house I had the opportunity of going to my father's Bible study group on wed. morning. This group of gentlemen have prayed for my family each and every week. It was a privilege to meet them. Thank you again for standing in the gap!

love,

Holli

one more piece of news............

After this chemo is over we are getting a puppy! I have been wanting one for so long and have found her, she's now 5 weeks old. I'll post pics when we get her! Her name is "Cooper". :)

New Chemo............

THANK YOU so very much for all of you that have contributed to the gift bags for me each chemo time. I have been so blessed and overwhelmed as well at how loved I have felt! Thank you!!!!!!!!! Your generosity has spoken volumes to me. I hope to encourage someone else in my shoes like this one day.

I first want to apologize for not writing in so long. I have finished the former chemo that was making me so very sick. Two weeks ago, they started me on Taxol. I go every monday for three weeks then have the fourth week off. I am glad about having a week off to not travel to Winston-Salem but it does mean that I will finish Sept. 27th instead of the 6th. Oh well, it will be nice for the break in between weeks.

I was told Taxol would not make me as nauseated and they were right! The first week I had it, my dad took me and that wed. for the first time since all this began I woke up and felt no nausea. I actually felt like myself again. I was even able to go the the pool with my kids and slide down the slide with them. We had a really god time together.

The precaution with this drug is when they are actually administering it. They said some have an allergic reaction to it, hard to breath, rash, etc. I was a little nervous but did just fine. They give me benadryl each just in case and this knocks me out.

Another side effect is that I could have tingling/numbing in my hands and feet. In some cases, the damage can be permanent. The nurse told me that I could have troubling dropping things and buttoning things up. So far this has not been the case. James bought me some cold mitts and boots I wear while they are administering the i.v. to prevent it. It is freezing lying there with these things on my hands and feet but I am grateful they seem to be working.

The doctor also had to give me something for hot flashes. It has been real hard to get a good nights sleep when I wake up super hot and then need a blanket again and then throw it off again.......etc. :)

So I have been encouraged that I don't feel so sick with this new chemo. I do have leg and joint pain and it's uncomfortable but also a side affect. I'm not sure why but I have been dealing with a lot of nausea yesterday and today.

Next week I go July 6th, on Tuesday. I have ten more treatments. My oncologist told me twice last time that this is the best drug against breast cancer. Said I am doing what I need to be doing to fight this.

I have lost some weight, I don't mind this part :), but it's still is a struggle to get my water in each day and eat when I don't feel like eating/drinking. I'm trying!

I am so very grateful for everyone that has been asking about me and praying for me. Emotionally I am doing better, I'm enjoying time with my family this summer. Occasionally I have fear but not as paralyzing as before.

Thank you for lifting me up. We need it. Please pray for James as well as he has been diligently seeking a job.

We found out our insurance company will not renew it because we are no longer overseas. So our challenge now is to find an insurance that will cover pre-existing conditions!

thanks for walking this road with us.........

love,

holli

Thomas O’Connor High, Sr. (August 18, 1919 - May 25, 2010)

Woodruff, SC – Reverend Dr. Thomas O’Connor High, Sr., husband of the late Katharine Younts High, died May 25, 2010 at Skylyn Place Health Center.

Born in Duncan, SC on August 18, 1919, he was a son of the late Andrew Furman and Temperance Fowler High. Dr. High was an Army Veteran of World War II serving in Italy, the Pacific Theatre and North Africa where he taught French Army Officers the mechanics of Radar 264. Dr. High was a graduate of Wofford College, Vanderbilt University, Southern Baptist Theological Seminary where he earned his Masters and Doctor of Theology and the University of North Carolina where he earned his Masters of Library Science. He taught English for several years in high schools and colleges. Dr. High and his wife Katharine served as missionaries/teachers for 35 years at the Nigerian Baptist Theology Seminary, Ogbomoso and Baptist Pastor’s School, Kaduna, Nigeria, under the Foreign Mission Board (now the International Mission Board) of the Southern Baptist Convention. Dr. High pastored churches in Kentucky, Tennessee and South Carolina. He was a member of Green Pond Baptist Church of Woodruff.

Dr. High is survived by a daughter, Katharine High Dunson of Woodruff, SC and five sons, Thomas O. High, Jr. of New Delhi, India, Stephen A. High of Honea Path, SC, David M. High of Woodruff, SC, John T. High of Nairobi, Kenya and James R. High of Belmont, NC. He was blessed with eight grandchildren.

The lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the International Mission Board, Atten: Development Dept., P. O. Box 6767, Richmond, VA 23230-0767 or Homeless Children International, P.O. Box 416, Reidville, SC 29375-0416.

Hello!

Well, tomorrow I go in for my third chemo treatment. I am so not looking forward to it. The last time, my nausea seemed to linger on into the next week. So although the first time I felt sicker it lasted only a week. This time it took me til about wed. afternoon, a week later, to feel okay. I get chemo on monday and the shot on tuesday. I think the shot is just as bad. It is supposed to massively produce white blood cells and so it makes your bones just ache.

I have two more treatments with these two types of chemo. They are every other week. Then mid June I begin my final chemo drug will be every monday. They said it shouldn't be as bad (let's hope) and I am so glad I won't need that shot the following day! My last day of chemo is Sept. 6th.

We meet with the oncologist tomorrow morning so I am gonna see if there is anything else he can recommend for nausea. I don't believe the meds. he has me on now are doing anything. They implied I shouldn't be feeling this bad for that long. I hate more than anything to be nauseated. Phenergan, a med. for nausea, isn't making me sleepy anymore. And I have always been super sensitive to that! I am not even able to take naps during the day.

So physically, that's where I am. Also losing my hair. ugh. I am used to the idea more now and am handling that better. Thank you James, for telling me I'm pretty when I don't feel it at all. I love you.

Emotionally, how am I? Better. I have had some good friends take me to the movies to get out of the house so that was a lot of fun. Went on a double date friday night. So when I am feeling up to it, it is good to get out of the house. Otherwise when the boys are at school, James is not there, and Ashley is taking a nap, I admit many days it has been a challenge for me not to be really down. Or sometimes it seems to not even feel anything at all. It's really hard to feel upbeat when I have felt so bad physically.

The kids are doing great. The boys are really enjoying school and making great grades. They have been so sweet to me and pray for me each night. I have had so much fun at home with Ashley. She has the best personality, keeps us all laughing.

James is doing well. He's very positive which is so encouraging to me and also very busy with the kids. He's working a few days at the health department and enjoys it. Please pray for wisdom for him as we decide what path to take as far as employment.

Thank you so much for all who have prayed for us. I have never felt so loved before. Each treatment I get to open a bag of presents that my sister put together. I want to thank everyone for buying such special things and sending them to her for me. I feel so unworthy of it all, I really do.

Please pray that I will feel better these next few treatments.

Please pray that I will have joy.

Please pray for our family, that this will be a time for all of us to love Jesus as never before and trust Him.

thank you

holli

Things are going well

Thanks to everyone for all of their thoughts, prayer and well-wishes.

Holli continues to do well. She had a pretty rough week after her first chemotherapy treatment but felt much better the next week. She had her second treatment yesterday and so far has only had some nausea. Her blood counts looked good. She had a chest x-ray done to evaluate a cough and it looked normal as well. She also continues to get a white cell stimulator shot the day after chemotherapy to keep her from becoming too immune suppressed.

She will continue chemotherapy treatments every other week for two more cycles, then weekly for a total of 16 cycles. Her oncologist told her that she is probably through the worst of the side effects and that her medications will continue to control her symptoms. She will continue to be immune suppressed and will need to avoid crowed public places or sick individuals.

Please continue to pray for Holli that the chemotherapy will eradicate any potential cancer cells that escaped into her body before the surgery and that she will have limited side effects from the treatments.

James

Holli's sister Alyssa is putting together a packet of encouragement for each of her 16 chemotherapy treatment cycles. If you have something to contribute please contact her by email at: Alyssa.Lancaster@uscm.org.

Thanks.

James